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WTF I woke up this morning and I felt like total ass, my throat was so sore and I was running a 102 fever. When I woke up Monday morning in Vegas I had partially lost my voice and had a runny nose but I didn't think much of it I figured the runny nose was from the cocaine I snorted at Krave the prior night. The runny nose went away and I was all good until yesterday at work, I started sneezing and the runny nose came back... grrrrrrr I hate summer colds. I guess I did party a little too hard this past weekend...So all I have done today is lay in bed with my laptop

Enough about that, so a couple of months ago I went clubbing with the guys and we all got pretty hammered. However at some point in the night in my inebriated state of mind I spotted a cute guy. So apparently I left the gang and started dancing with this guy, one thing led to another I guess, and we went to the bar threw back a few shots and then decided to leave the club. FYI at this point of the night I only remember bits and pieces and the rest is what "cute guy" told me happened. So when I go out clubbing with the guys I stay with my friend whom lives downtown, I live about 15 minutes north and don't like to drink and drive...So per "cute guy" we were both horny and ready to get it on however he lives 20 minutes north too, crap! So we decide to go to a hotel (this I don't remember) so we jumped in a cab and took off. I don't remember any of the cab ride nor the check in part but I do remember getting in the room and undressing, we were on the bed making out (this is where I go in and out no pun intended) and fooling around on the bed. I remember him sucking my cock and eating my ass, I am not much of an ass eater so I just sucked his cock. So after some hot foreplay we got to fucking I don't really remember how that went cause I blacked out again...I do remember jumping in the shower and fucking some more, after that I don't remember a thing except for waking up in the morning. I woke up looked over and there was no one there so I kinda freaked out cause I had no idea where I was. So first thing I did was to look for my underwear and I had the toughest time finding them, while I was looking for my undies, on the counter was a note from "cute guy". It read..."I tried waking you up, I had to go meet friends for brunch, call me when you get this" with his number at the bottom. So I felt a little more at ease that he didn't just leave me in some hotel, and I would be able to figure out exactly what happened. 

So I find my phone and look at all the missed calls, apparently my friends went hysterical thinking that something happened to me. Well I finally call them and first thing I hear is "where in the FUCK are you, where did you go, are you okay" I was like whoops...At this point I was looking at some hotel literature and had figured out where I was, I told my friends "I am okay, come get me, I'll tell you the rest shortly" So I put my clothes on, wash my face/mouth and headed to the front of the hotel, the hotel wasn't far from my friends house. When I finally jumped in the car the first thing I hear is "you whore" thats when I knew they were over the scare. Whoops lol  Later that evening I texted "cute guy" and said Whoa! his response was the same and he said "I don't usually do that" which was my response to him...of course I wasn't going to say oh "I do it all the time" lol I really don't.

So getting back to the point of that whole story, so we went on a few dates like 7...I don't classify myself as a relationship type, so once I noticed that we had gone on more then enough dates and things were getting a little intense. I did what I usually do when I get freaked out, I quit responding to texts and no callbacks. So two months later in May he sends me another message something along the lines of "hey man whats up, hope you are doing well and hope to hear from you" I don't know what was so different from this message compared to the others but I decided to respond. So for the next couple of weeks we texted back and forth and tried to get together however I was pretty busy at the time. So while I was in Vegas this last weekend he started messaging me about wanting to see me etc...and wanted to fly out to Vegas. I was like HELL NO lol you will put a damper on my "game" I mean really, Vegas is not a place for couples. Couples shit is for like Wyoming, an Alaskan cruise or something crazy like that. lol So I agreed we would hang out when I got back, so on Tuesday he sends me a message asking me if Friday night was good for me, I said "that will work, you plan something" so he said "okay, I will call you when I get off of work" so he never calls but he texts me later that night and doesn't say anything about Friday. I was kinda tired and sleepy so I was kinda short. Well I haven't heard from him until literally the middle of the last sentence, he said "sorry I haven't been in touch, I lost my phone." Keep in mind I am the type of person that likes to know what I am doing the next day and plans  things out. So before he made contact today I was like wtf, why hasn't he called? So that got me thinking, why am I getting worried that he hasn't called? Hmmm It couldn't be that I might like him more than I think. 

The reason I shut myself off on relationships is because I was in a 3 year relationship when I was 18, 19, 20 and I feel like I lost my gay teen years in that relationship...Right now I feel like I don't have time to jump into something serious like that again, I am college senior and going to pursue Law school. So I think to myself, why get into something that, I know I will not give all of my attention to. I know that I will be moving away for Law school when the time comes, which is another reason why I say "I am not ready"

I think to myself am I doing the right thing by closing myself off because of my future plans?